Sunday, 15 April 2018

When I arrived home
In the middle of the night,
Cheptoo scorned at me
With an ear piercing voice.
She said that our children
Are not even mine.
She woke up our neighbors
And told them that harlots
Are spending my money.
In fact,
She pointed at my penis
And compared it to a bee hive
that has no honey.

When I arrived home
In the middle of the night,
Cheptoo declared that
She's moving in with another man.
Even before I opened my arms to give her
A warm embrace,
She angrily removed her underwear
And threw it in the middle
Of my astonished face.

When I told Cheptoo that I had just
Won a million dollar jackpot,
She quickly grabbed the underwear
That she had thrown in the middle
Of my astonished faced and wore it.
She then picked a bible and swore that
When she said that I'm not the father
Of our six kids,
She was just kidding.
In fact,
She left me standing at the doorstep
And rushed to the bedroom to prepare
My favourite meal.

Monday, 22 January 2018

My love,
I will not tell your husband that I
kissed your wet lips yesterday.

If I tell him how sweet 
Your wet lips were,
He will strangle my neck to death.
He will then break a bottle and slit
your throat until you run
out of breath.

My love,
I will not tell your husband
How sweet your evening meal was.
I will not tell him that the part I loved
most was waking up in the morning
and licking the slippery soup that
you poured on your plate of ecstasy.

If he gets to know that I ate
your sumptuous meal,
He will jump on your belly until you miscarry our one month old child.
He will then come for my poor life.
I won't utter a word when I go to 
the bar with him.

My love,
When you'll go for the women
conference meeting next week,
I won't tell your husband that it's me
you'll spend your warm nights with.

After all,
He also loiters with harlots the
whole night and comes home
the following day.....
Was it not a packet of condom
that you found in his pocket while
doing laundry today?

Tuesday, 19 December 2017

now that my husband has gone
to work and we're alone,
I want you to lock the door and
remove all your clothes...
My body is on fire.

I want you to come closer.
Don't gaze at me as if you've seen
an ugly looking ghost.
I've taken off my underwear.
I want you to have an aerial view of
the den that men love most.

If you refuse to make love to me,
I will shout at the top of my voice
and call you a rapist.
You'll be stoned by angry villagers.
In fact,
My husband will insert a hot nail in
the narrow opening of your penis.
He will also terminate your job as
our gardener.

Therefore Allango.
Before you rush to the garden to prune flowers with your shears,
I want you to slither through the
petals of the juicy crack between my thighs.
I want you to feel the texture of my
behind with your tongue.

Come Allango,
Come closer.

Saturday, 9 December 2017

If your love for me is true,
You don't have to worry about
your ugly wife and kids.
Take me to London
and fulfill your emotional needs.

If your love for me is true,
Then sacrifice...
shelter my feet 
with expensive shoes.
You don't have to worry about 
what your kids will eat.
they can starve for several weeks
while I rome - in Italy - with you. 

Look at me Allango,
have you ever seen a pair of
buttocks that look as plumpy
as the ones that dangle on my behind?
Count yourself lucky for having me.

If your love for me is true,
Buy me a car and shower
my bed with American dollars...
Starring at my thighs with a wet tongue
and paying my rent is not enough.

Allango my love.
I know you want me from the
deepest part of your heart.
But actions speak louder 
than words.

If your love for me is true,
Buy me a huge box of pizza.
Buy me plastic nails from Germany.
Look at my boring eye lashes....
I want artificial ones... they only go
for one million my love.

If you truly love me, Allango,
put me first in your list of priority.
And I will make you feel young again.

Sunday, 26 November 2017

Adoyo wants me to buy her an
expensive handbag from dubai.
She insists that if possible,
I should use contributions for my
mother's hospital bill to buy it,
She says that if I don't want her to
leave me for another man,
I should put her first in my list
of priorities.
Dear friends,
Who wants Adoyo my girlfriend?

Adoyo always faults me for
not being stable.
But apart from her labia and
lose tongue,
there's nothing else that Adoyo
brings on the table.
My dear friends with flashy cars,
Adoyo my girlfriend is up for grabs.
Who wants her?

Were it not for Adoyo,
The permanent house that I was
building in the village would
not have stalled...
I would not have sold the only cow
that I had - just to jewel her fingers 
with plastic nails.
My dear friends,
You who have extra money
to waste,
Who wants Adoyo my girlfriend?

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...