Saturday, 10 June 2017


My good people
I've returned to you again,
please come and attend my campaign
if you promise to give me your votes,
I will give you hundreds of notes.

Within the first nine days of my reign,
I'll petition God to pour down some rain.
I will also put tarmac on our roads
and take all of you abroad...

My people
I've returned to you again,
please come and attend my campaign.
if in power you'll make me remain,
I will give you bottles of champagne

Within the first ninety days in office,
you will shift from your huts I promise.
I will give you gigantic castles,
where you'll live for free without tussles.

My great people,
have you not seen the public toilet I remade?
now all of you have a first class place to urinate.
if I win the election in style,
I will carpet the toilet with tiles.

Within the first nine days after inauguration,
no one will pay school fees for their education.
for men who'll marry, I shall pay their dowry.
as for youths who'll be jobless, I will pay them some salary.

Look here my people
If you allow my opponent to be the winner
You will die like poor rats that ate poison in their dinner.
The price of food will rice
My people open your eyes.

I will build you hospitals, and a state of art prison
I will make humongous airports, do you see the way I reason?
I will build thirty factories - within the first two hours of my victory
If I get your votes this time, I'll construct a beautiful mortuary

Just for you my people 

Thursday, 8 June 2017



When I fell in love with Achieng
everything we did was perfect
anytime when we walked in the cold
I would make her put on my jacket

but now things have changed
her beauty has faded away
when she shrinks and say she feels cold
I roll eyes and say "so what?"

When I fell in love with Achieng
I would come back home early
she would serve me mushroom and ugali
then ask "are you satisfied honey?"

but things are not the same
and we don't even know who to blame
when I sleep with her in bed
I forget how it feels to erect

When I fell in love with Achieng
I would trim her public hair
we would cook and make love in the kitchen
our food would then burn as we stare

But the fire of our love is in ashes
we no longer go out for dates
I'm starting to see beauty in other lasses
and thus I'm always home late

Wednesday, 7 June 2017


Okumu my son,
please give me a grandchild...
I want to carry them in my hands
before they lay me down to the sands.

Even if you'll go out of your way,
and make love to Akoya,
the mad woman who runs naked,
so be it.

Okumu my son,
please give me a grandchild...
you are no longer a boy
and your manhood is not a toy

Even if you'll go out of your way
And make love to Wanjiku
the woman who roasts maize at the main road,
so be it!

Okumu my son,
please sire for me a grandchild...
you are working and you're learned
I know not why you can't get married.

Achieng - the primary school teacher
is coming today
if you'll go out of your way and take her to the family way,
so be it.

Okumu my son,
bring me a grandchild...
look at how the compound is quiet
have you not met your soul mate?

Even if you'll go out of your way
And make love to Akello
the woman who sells charcoal next to our gate
so be it..... so be it my son

Saturday, 3 June 2017



The girl of my dreams slept with me last night.
she gently took my hand and placed it on her breast.
we kissed without a fight as I climbed on top of her waist
there was wetness in her nest - where my manhood was to rest.

The girl of my dream slept with me in my bed
just before I dug her with my manhood, she closed her beautiful legs.
I told her "honey cooperate... If I sleep like this I'll be dead"
she smiled and held my manhood, and told me to just insert the head.

The girl of my dreams slept with me last night
she said she was on fire...  that she wants is to squirt,
I was breathing like a dying giant.. and moving like a lorry on a bump
I told her "mbu I'm tired, I can't erect anymore, be calm"

The girl of my dreams slept with me last night.
When I woke up in the morning, she had left my tiny hut
my bed was a swamp of semen.. my pant had a layer of dry cream
I said to myself "good heavens, what a fucking dream!"


Tuesday, 30 May 2017


Dear Teressa,
anytime when I want to say "I love you"
my tongue usually hides behind the gaps of my teeth.
my lungs will start to wither, and my nostrils will forget to breathe.

As if all that is not enough,
my bladder will be pressed by urine
while my behind will sweat and turn humid.
Teressa my love,
during such times, I may look quite stupid

Dear Teressa,
anytime when I want to say "I love you"
mbu!
my tiny heart usually feels like tumbling from my chest
my lips usually fumble and mumble without a rest

and as if all that is not enough,
red veins will contour my pregnant eyeballs.
a part of me will release a silent fart - while a part of me will try to keep cool.
Teressa my love,
during such times, I become a total fool.

Dear Teressa,
anytime when I want to say "I love you"
you give me a certain look that shrinks the toes of my feeble foot.
your smile becomes a mask of rejection - and thus I opt to just go mute

As if all that is not enough,
butterflies will hover in my belly
hair will erect in my ears
Teressa, my love,
during such times, I face a lot of fears. 
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